This is the final part of ‘like her little sister’. You managed to once again chose the hardest option for me to write about. But I think I managed it. This part is a bit shorter than the others. It is more about finishing the story and prediciting the future, than actually writing about a specific spanking for our little girl. I hope you enjoy this ending.
It felt as if it was still there. Like the feeling you get after wearing a hat all day, when you take it off, you can still feel it. That’s how Larissa felt after her father left her in the morning. She was still blushing, remembering his hands in the dark, taking her diaper off. It was in the bin now, he had taken the pacifier as well, but she could still feel them. It felt strange, her bottom bare against the sheets, nothing fitting snugly around her hips. She was more aware of the fact that her bottom still stung from her spanking the night before, wearing the diaper had lessened that feeling. It felt impossible to continue sleeping without it, so she lay awake, wondering how she could convince her father that this would not be the last time such a thing would happen to her.
Breakfast, the road to school, even the hard wooden benches against her sore bottom, they passed her by, she couldn’t focus. It was during lunch break that she decided she should put her feelings into words. She knew she wouldn’t be able to tell him face to face. It would be to embarrassing, she would trip over her words, he would interrupt her, she wouldn’t be able to say all she wanted to say. So the solution lay in pen and paper. She found the most abandoned corner in the dining hall, where no-one would disturb her or read over her shoulder, and began to write:
These last two days have been difficult for me. I have discovered a need in myself that seems so out of place, so wrong for a girl my age. Yet I couldn’t ignore this need, and like always, you helped me when I needed it. But just like me, you feel that what happened these past two days is not how the world works, not for girls my age.
You were right of course. I am a grown woman, I need to learn about responsibilities and not seek the comfort and safety I can find with my parents. But shouldn’t this be a learning process? I can’t learn all that in a day’s time. I have only been a grown woman for a very short time. I still make mistakes, behave like a child even. If at these moments you treat me as a grownup and not as a child, how am I to learn? Wouldn’t spanking me be a better way of showing me which behaviour is that of a child and which is that of a grown woman? Can’t we set these conventions about age aside, and decide for ourselves what is appropriate?
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be spanked. Being over your knee, with my bottom bared in front of you. Being punished like a little girl, my bottom red and stinging. It’s embarrassing, it hurts, it’s punishment. I don’t want to be punished, I’d rather get away with all the bad stuff I get up with. But when I do get punished, I think this line of punishment would be more appropriate to my needs. So in a way, yes, I do want to be spanked, I want my lessons to be embarrassing and painful, so I will remember them better, and be the girl, or woman, you want me to be.
Then there is the diaper. An embarrassing aspect in itself, how do they fit into my needs? I have thought about them, a lot. They are embarrassing, more even than the spankings. But they are not punishment, not really. After all the blushes and embarrassment, they are comforting. They make me feel safe, comforted, loved by my daddy. Is there something wrong with that? Every woman, even a grown one needs comforting every now and again. It might not be fitting to dress a girl in a diaper when she is supposed to be learning to be a grown woman. But wouldn’t it help in the end? Every time I need comforting, every time my daddy puts me in a diaper, the comforting will be paired with embarrassment, strengthening my resolve, that next time I will be stronger, not needing daddy to help me, not needing a diaper, outgrowing it…
This letter is not a ploy to convince you to do anything. Though I would be lying if I said I didn’t hope it would change anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt about all of this. Anything you do is your choice. Should you decide to ignore it, or perhaps one day spank me or even keep a diaper at hand. I will love you no matter what you do.
Your little girl, Larissa.
(ps. would you destroy this so no-one else could read it)
With the letter folded four times in her pocket, Larissa arrived home that day. She had been nervous ever since writing the letter. Anxious and at the same time afraid to hand it to her father. But they were never alone. The letter stayed in her pocket, waiting to be handed over. Time was growing short, when it was time to go to bed, she finally got her chance.
It was late and she was actually tired, after two days of being sent to bed early, today she was staying up late. When her father left the room to go to the bathroom, she wished her mother goodnight and followed him. She handed him the letter before he entered the bathroom and then ran to her bedroom.
Long minutes passed as she waited in her bedroom. She had undressed and pulled on her pj’s to try and get her mind off things. He might not even give her any reaction. She thought. In that case she would get little sleep. But after forever she heard footsteps on the stairs. Her father knocked and entered her room.
“I read your letter.” He said, moving into the room, until he stood next to the bed. Larissa nodded. “I’m not going to destroy it.” He said.
Larissa blushed, it was none of the reactions she had imagined he might have. “What, why not?”
Her father looked at her. “I’m pretty sure that the next time I put you over my knee, you will be less sure about being spanked at your age, and then I will have proof that it is your own idea.”
Larissa blushed and then realised what he meant. “You mean, that, you will do it? Spank me? When I’m naughty I mean…”
Her father smiled. “You made a very convincing argument. It’s worth trying, spanking, and more.” He pulled something from his pocket as he said it, the pacifier, and placed it back on her nightstand.
Larissa couldn’t respond, she had something in her troat. She felt a tear sliding down her cheek. Oh no, she didn’t want to cry…
Her father suddenly sat next to her. “Are you ok?”
Larissa dried her eyes with her sleeves and nodded. “I was just a bit nervous…”
Her father smiled. “You’ve had this on your mind all day, haven’t you?” Larissa nodded. “I understand it must’ve been very hard, and even harder writing that letter.” He kept silent for a moment, watching her as another tear rolled down her cheek. “Do you want me to get you a diaper?”
Larissa blushed, but nodded quickly. Yes this was exactly what she meant, the diaper would really comfort her, no matter how embarrassing it would be to let daddy put it on. He stood up and left her alone. When he returned shortly after, with a diaper and a pot of baby-cream, her pj-bottoms were off, her legs up in the air and her bottom bared and ready for her daddy once again…